We all like to pretend we’re not judgmental. We are, just follow your Twitter feed for 5 minutes and you’ll see. However when it comes to stealing stuff out of our kids’ Halloween bags we need to have discerning tastes. To each his own I guess. My husband LOVES real licorice. Then again he’ll eat anything that’s not beets or liver, so…
Here is my list of the worst Halloween Candy EVER.
10. Dots. What the heck is a Dot? It’s older than a Gummy Bear and has a funny aftertaste. No. No Dots please.
9. Almond Joy. Please just give those to your grandfather already, right along with the Werther’s Originals. And the Dots.
8. Werther’s Originals. See Number 9.
7. Swedish Fish. These are another of my husband’ favorites. They are hard to bite and stick to your teeth for hours. Dental Disaster and not really worth it.
6. Candy Orange Slices. These are an abomination and should be put on the FBI’s Most Wanted List and banned by the FAA and the USDA. They are truly up to no good. Can’t be trusted.
5. Lemonheads. Taste like Pledge. I totally want to like them but that aftertaste is such a letdown.
4. Hot Tamales. What’s the point? I don’t want spicy in my candy! If I want spicy I’ll have a Tic Tac or Mexican Food. No thanks.
3. Any type of gum. Way to put in ZERO effort. If you hand out GUM at Halloween then you might as well throw in a toothbrush, dental floss and a quarter. Just go all the way with being an annoying neighbor. Be sure to hand the kids a roll of toilet paper and a carton of eggs because you have it coming.
2. Necco Wafers. Yay. Chalk with a slightly fruity-ish flavor. These are essentially Antacid tablets for kids. Great for leveling a wobbly table or for science experiments. I bet your Grandma loves Neccos.
1. PEEPS. Peeps are the worst of the worst. Peeps are a violation of physics and cuisine. Peeps are a bad joke that candy makers have played on humanity. Peeps were probably not made by a human anyway. Peeps could quite possibly be the proof we need that life exists somewhere else in the universe because they are not meant for human consumption.
Disagree? I’m sure you do…feel free to comment below!